Mentschen

Here

is a photo that I posted on Facebook in honor of Father’s Day. When I went back a few hours later to see any comments, I was intrigued by the many, many postings on Facebook of similar photos of fathers and sons and the heartwarming comments that accompanied them. I was also delighted to see several posts from men commenting about the wonderful fathers that THEIR sons have become.  I was also touched by the many “likes” and several comments about how my dad influenced the lives of my family and friends.

How are you spending Father’s Day? What are your memories of your father? What would you like your son to remember about you?

We finally were able to have our Brotherhood Shabbat at Temple Shaare Tefilah this weekend after snow related postponements earlier this year.

In lieu of a dedicated sermon or drash, the organizers of our service have generally sprinkled readings throughout the service. Many of these readings have been taken from essays in the “Hearing Men’s Voices” books, and other FJMC sources.

This year the readings were exclusively taken from some the essays posted right here on our Mentschen blog. While I have read all of them as they were posted, there was a certain power of having the read aloud in the synagogue on the occasion of Brotherhood Shabbat.

Thank you to all of you who have contributed in the past. Please continue to send along your inspiring thoughts and your challenges to our every-day life.

This blog lives through your words. Please keep inspiring us!

BobBraitman@FJMC.org

“Arbeit Macht Frei.”

I can see these words in the iron over the gates as clearly today as when I walked through those gates more than two decades ago. I can still see the torture chambers, the wall where the firing line once stood, the barracks filled with suitcases and with shoes. These are some of the images I still retain from a visit to Auschwitz/Birkenau concentration camp.

I was in Poland in the spring of 1990 as part of a team from the USC Cinema School, touring the emerging democracy to advise a company on their venture to bring cable TV to the Polish people. A holocaust survivor, who had escaped from Auschwitz as a boy, founded the company. We toured the country for a week, visiting every significant film school and broadcast facility. Our last day was time for site seeing in and around Krakow. The afternoon was devoted to a tour of the concentration camp.

As we walked through the gates, we learned that the ironic message “Arbeit Macht Frei,” (Work Brings Freedom) was just the beginning of the cruelties that we were to become witness to.  No one can visit site and deny that the holocaust took place. Our group leader declared on the silent ride back to Krakow that this is the most depressing place on earth and every human being needs to see it.

The tour was simultaneously fascinating and horrifying. I took many pictures on the tour, but these are prints that I have never put into a photo album and have only looked at a couple of times. I don’t need to look at them – I can see them in my head just as vividly today. I can also feel the feelings I experienced that day.

They are a part of me and a significant step on my journey to Judaism. When I visited Auschwitz, I was not Jewish. In fact, the idea of converting had never entered my consciousness at the time. My thought, as I witnessed the horrors of the holocaust which no museum can match, was that these atrocities happened to the Jews—them, not us, not me. But as I worked through the displays of the shoes and the suitcases, I began to understand that these were all people like me. When I got to the display of eyeglasses, I began to connect with the individuals that each represents. When I got to the display of the half dozen recovered Tallitot (prayer shawls), I understood the importance that Judaism played in the lives of these lost souls.

It was not very long after that trip that Judaism became a bigger and bigger part of our household, which eventually led to my conversion nine years later. This visit was a step on my journey.

Today, as we light the yellow candle each year, I recall this trip to Poland and the tour that changed my life. As I recall the vivid images of Auschwitz, I shudder at the horrors that were inflicted on the Jewish people—us, not them—me.

Alex Romano

Temple Aliyah Men’s Club President

alex.romano@mc.templealiyah.org

747-777-3872

The man’s life was a total balancing act.  With a new child at home, he was hard pressed to juggle his men’s club leadership role, his job as a high tech manager, and his role as equal partner to his spouse.  Despite the time pressures, he was determined to carve out time for his monthly Hearing Men’s Voices program.  These meeting were his safety valve, a place to blow off steam, get some validation for his efforts to manage it all, and be with men who understood how challenging modern life can get for today’s man .

 It was at the session on ethical speech that he shared a problem that threatened to dismantle it.  The men’s club had become fractured by harsh words between two members.  Sides we being taken.  Bad words were flying all around.  How could he conduct himself ethically and sensitively to restore the good feelings that once existed in the group?

One of the ground rules of Hearing Men’s Voices is what is said in the session remains confidential.  So in many ways, this is the end of the story.  We can report a happy ending.  Our friend worked hard to heal the rift in his club, and Hearing Men’s voices became the venue to make it happen. 

The point is that men do benefit from participating in Hearing Men’s Voices.  And for younger men with fewer institutional networks, it may be a vital lifeline to male connection.  It offers a forum for them to discuss difficult issues that need to be discussed.  It brings them closer to others in the group.  As illustrated above, it can lead to healing oneself and others.

This summer, from July 24^th to 28^th, men’s clubbers from all over the world will meet in Boston to discuss “Conservative/Masorti Men at the Crossroads, Responding to a Changing World”.  Hearing Men’s Voices will be one of the central programs of the convention.   We will use this as the forum to help us respond to a changing world.   Furthermore, we will provide specific topics for younger men to be engaged with themselves and the larger group.

For example, one of the topics will be “Being a Jewish Father”.  What are the issues facing a young father?  How does one raise a Jewish child?   We envision a multigenerational group that will bring men who have lived through this experience in contact with younger men new to his life cycle event.  It should be useful for all participants. Another topic will be “Building a Career”.  Obviously, this is as subject that is pivotal for young Jewish men.  Again we will bring a number of generations of men together to discuss their experiences.    How does one find a mentor?  How does one mentor someone else?  What issues does commuting present?  How does one navigate different organizations when building his career?  How does one balance work and family (and men’s club) to achieve the kind of life he wants?

The Mentschen of the FJMC invite all men to participate in Hearing Men’s Voices at convention.   We believe it will accelerate the younger men’s integration into our organization.  We also believe younger men will energize their more mature counterparts.  Please contact your local club to learn more about Hearing Men’s Voices programming and to learn how you can attend Convention this summer.

Have you had a “spiritual moment”? I’d like to tell you about one such experience that happened for me just today and would be anxious to learn of your experiences of God’s Wonder in your own lives.

Regular readers of Mentschen will know that I have been serving as a mohel here in the Boston area. I’m writing this post as I’ve just returned from doing a “bris” this morning. Being a mohel allows me to speak for a few minutes about the joys of our tradition. It is particularly nice to speak to the many young friends and family members who often aren’t exposed to Judaism, and also to the older family members for whom these words resonate with their own spiritual life.

The moments that are especially moving for me are those around the giving of the baby his name. I encourage parents to spend a few minutes, sharing with those in attendance the story of the name. Who are the men and women that are being remembered through the name of this new baby? What were their stories? What memories can be shared about them?

Whether the memory is of a loving parent or grandparent, a young friend or family member who’s life ended too soon, these stories invariable generate tears around the room. And that includes mine.

It is with great joy that I was honored to bless this child and his parents. I ask God to grant the parents the wisdom and patience to rear this baby into manhood and teaching him to be a loving, caring human being. I was particularly thrilled that there were four (count ‘em) great-grandparents on hand and was happy to pray that they, along with the grandparents experience joy and nachas from the baby.

As I blessed this child and his family I felt the hand of God on my shoulder. It was an extraordinary moment!