Mentschen

It’s not difficult to recall numerous ways in which I have been shaped—as a person, a father, a Jew, a man, a friend, a husband, and much, much more—by my father, Alan Eisen (z”l), whose third yortseyt I will observe in early January. It is appropriate to write this particular recollection of him for the Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs (FJMC) with a plaque and framed certificate nearby that testify to his “Man of the Year” awards from the Men’s Club of Congregation Emanu-El in Philadelphia. I got my musical ability from my father (my mother, a source of great influence and inspiration as well, could not carry a tune, though she did play the piano). I suspect the fact that I do not tell jokes very often, but appreciate good puns, stems from the fact that Dad told jokes all the time, and was known for a repertoire of bad puns. It gave me great pleasure, too, when my son was born, to observe that he had inherited the double-jointed thumbs that seem to go with my father’s genealogy and that of all Eisen males. The problem is not finding examples of my father’s influence on me, but identifying areas where that influence is absent. Let me mention three zones of his impact that are particularly relevant to my current work—and that of the FJMC.

First, my Dad was pious in a way I much admired and never scorned, even at the height of teenage rebellion. Continue reading →

Happy Holidays.

We had a throw pillow that came out every December as part of our seasonal holiday decorations. It had a picture of a reindeer with the antlers made up to be a Hanukah menorah complete with candles. I don’t recall the whimsical saying that combined the secular celebration of Christmas with the Jewish celebration of Hanukah. We must have donated this decorative gem to Goodwill or the like since I can’t find it, but it defines the way in which our blended family celebrated the December holidays.

Like many families throughout North America, we do not celebrate our holidays the way we did when we were kids. For me, with my Christian upbringing, this was with presents under the Christmas tree and stockings hung by the fireplace, which miraculously filled with goodies overnight.

For many years after we married, Linda and I comfortably celebrated both Christmas and Hanukah with each of our families in ways that mimicked what we experienced as children. We had a tree in the living room, stockings by the fireplace and a Hanukah menorah or two prominently displayed. We celebrated Christmas with my family and joined Linda’s family in their various (and diverse) celebrations.

When my journey to Judaism brought me to conversion, after 17 years of marriage, our household began a transition from a blended mix of traditions to our current tradition of a completely Jewish celebration. Without any Christmas decorations remaining, that silly pillow, with its blended message had to go.  This transition took time to happen over the 12 years since my conversion. I could not immediately let go of the desire to continue to recreate, for my children, the favorite memories I had as a child. But as they were growing up, and their own Jewish identities were developing, I had to face the fact that the experiences my kids have had, and would have, are their own and not mine to relive.

Certainly navigating the uncharted waters as a blended family – and we continue to be an interfaith extended family even though we have a completely Jewish household – has been challenging over the years. Things would have been easier if we did not have different faith traditions to accommodate, but that was not the path for us. This path is one which I feel was chosen for us by a divine plan, which I am immensely happy with. Every year as December rolls around, I am filled with the joy of the season – all of the various aspects of the season from all the phases of my life – and our family’s blended history.

Happy Holidays!

“Once we were slaves in Egypt” is the ultimate Jewish story.  The memory of slavery is burned on our consciousness not to induce us to amass enough wealth so that it never happens again.  It is a call to be sensitive to the plight of the underclass.  Our slavery ended because of divine providence, not because we were so clever.  Some believe the story is a literal history and others believe it is our Jewish mythology.  Either way, it defines who we are and what we stand for.

 My life brings me into contact with Jews across North America.  I like to discuss politics, and I’m beginning to see a pattern.  Many financially wealthy Jews are advocating policies to cut taxes, reduce subsidies for the poor, and stop the EPA from mandating pollution regulations.  They tell me the system is broken.  But the system seems to be working pretty well for them.  And these policies will likely enhance their wealth.

 First a few assumptions:  Continue reading →

Jenny,

 Today marks an important step in your Jewish spiritual journey, but in many ways, your journey has been my spiritual journey as well. Your were born Jewish because your mother is Jewish. I was not born Jewish and my journey in becoming a Jew, with my conversion last year, is due, in part, to the journey that has brought you here today.

 One of the things I realized, when I was just about your age, was that I couldn’t have faith in my family’s religion because I didn’t believe that a god existed. I couldn’t find anything in the world around me that proved the existence of a god and I could see no substantiation for the miracles that I was leaning about in the Bible. I concluded that, without proof of the existence of God, there could not be belief. And without belief there could not be faith in a religion.

 Well, a few years ago, without any pushing or suggestion from either of us, you asked to go to Hebrew school and to, one day, be a Bat Mitzvah. You took to your religious studies like a fish to water, doing amazing things. And now you are now standing here today.

 And I am standing here with you in part, because you have allowed me to reevaluate the conclusions I made when I was your age. What I’ve learned, while becoming a part of this temple community and watching you go through your incredible achievements on your spiritual journey, is that there is proof of the existence of God. From my perspective, you are living proof that God exists. A child like you, and the identification and achievement your have made in your Jewish education, is a miracle happening right before my eyes. And I thank you for that.

Editors Note: We all strive to be mentors and role models to our sons. One of the major milestones in the life of a boy is his Bar Mitzvah. At this key moment we have the opportunity to speak to our son and provide “words of wisdom”. From time to time “Mentschen” will publish some of these remarks and we welcome you to send the speech that you wrote for YOUR son. 

Jacob, congratulations.  You did wonderfully this morning.  I couldn’t be more proud of you.

You have impressed me over the last 6 months with the calm and confidence you displayed in your preparation for today.   Your mom and I often wondered whether you were truly prepared or just cluelessly overconfident and in way over your head. You certainly answered that question with your terrific performance leading today’s service.

You know Jacob, the whole process of preparing for today led me to reflect upon YOUR growth and personal development from an infant to a young man and MY growth as a parent.   Continue reading →